Thanksgiving Thoughts...

Thanksgiving – a time to give thanks and be with family. As Thanksgiving was approaching, I knew I needed to work to direct my focus on the Lord because if I didn't, I could easily get swallowed up in my sorrow of missing Pete during this special family time of the year. So I decided I wanted to concentrate on being thankful to the Lord for Who He is and I wrote down these verses to memorize:

“Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! Worship the Lord with gladness; Come before Him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us and we are His! We are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness continues to each generation.” Psalms 100

Pete and I always loved the gathering together of the family at our house. We have hosted Pete’s large extended family for years. As I thought about preparing for that many folks to be at the house without Pete’s help, I did have to consider how I was going to handle everything! Pete and I were always a good team and worked hard together to make all the preparations happen and happen well when we would host events! So I did what any wise mother/grandmother would do…called on available children and grandchildren to come earlier in the week and help! They were great…and it was a good way to share the work load with a lot of laughs thrown in the mix. It also was a good way to begin “teaching” little 2 year old Luke how important it was to be a helper with the family. He joined right in with Jackson, Noah, Brantley and Josh as they swept and raked and worked together!

 We had 30 family members here for Thanksgiving with 3 guests adding to our special day. That is one thing that Pete and I always made sure the family knew…anyone who needed a family was welcome at our table on Thanksgiving! Even though I knew this year would be harder emotionally for all of us, I made sure the family knew that the door was still wide open to all guests!  One of our guests was a dear high school friend of Brantley’s; our other two guests were international grad students at USC who were befriended by Jackie. They were from Pakistan and Senegal…and they were Muslim. What a joy it was to my heart to have them with us as it just seemed like another part of Pete’s mission heart was shared at our table this year.

 Each year, we have a family tradition of sharing one thing we are most thankful for over the past year. I think the family regretted that I started the sharing time because (through tears) I said I was most thankful for Pete and his life and the gift of our marriage for so many years! As we went around the circle sharing, I noticed that thankfulness for family and/or the Lord was on almost every heart and often that thanks was accompanied with a tear or two! I think all of us realized that God has given us such a gift of salvation through His Son and through the gifts of family and love…and that is what is most important in life…not income or “stuff” that we collect. Our family has experienced the finality of life on this earth this year…when Pete left, he didn’t take anything with him except the love of the Lord and our love. It made the verse in Psalm 100 even more real… “Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us and we are His! “ Pete’s “stuff” is still here but Pete’s soul, the part of him who is "really Pete", is in heaven with His Savior! We are so thankful for knowing that and it brings us great joy and comfort! As Peter said during his sharing time, "We are thankful that Pop is looking into the eyes of His Savior today!" 

Our new international friends have each been in America for 3 years but this is the first American home they have been in for Thanksgiving! They both said how thankful they were to have experienced an “American Thanksgiving”! We laughed as we told them that if they can enjoy the craziness of our big family, the crowded kitchen, flour flying as biscuits are being made, turkey being cut at the last minute, everyone pitching in to keep hot dishes hot and cold dishes cold, squeezing in together to make enough room for everyone, and stuffing yourself until you cannot eat another bite – then you have truly experienced a typical American Thanksgiving! I think deliberately inviting international guests will be a new part of our family Thanksgiving from now on…We hope the prayer that was lifted to the Lord before we ate as well as the fellowship and friendships they enjoyed will open a door to their hearts to want to know more about this Jesus we love.

Thanksgiving was a hard day emotionally…but a sweet one, too. It was good to be with family but we all missed Pete and his presence with us so much! We will always be thankful for his love and his joy in our family…and that is something that will never disappear!

During this holiday season, I want to encourage you cherish your family even more than usual….enjoy every moment with them! Don’t sweat the “stuff”…appreciate the love and joy of family and enjoy making memories with them! Reach out to others...especially those who don't know Jesus! Worship the Lord every day! He is so worth it!! He deserves our love and our praise! Time is way too short on this earth and you never know when things will change! 

“Give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness continues to each generation.”

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me

 through this tradition of Thanksgiving in our country

 that I need to be truly thankful most of all for You...

through good times and hard times!!

Legacy

As I have been thinking about the legacy that Pete left our family in his involvement with the mission of the Singing Christmas Tree, it also made me think how that is just one small part of the strength of the legacy he has left our children and grandchildren as a man of God. He sought to live out these commandments in the Bible.

“Jesus said, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37 – 39

 

Last Christmas with Pete's mom

 

Pete’s growth in the Lord took place over many years and his strength in his relationship with Jesus became sweeter and deeper as he grew older. As Thanksgiving approaches this week, it made me reflect on how thankful I am for our parents. We were both blessed to have been brought up by parents who loved the Lord and shared that love with us at a young age - helping us see the incredible need in our lives for our own relationship with Jesus as our Savior and Lord. Pete’s dad died when he was 15 so his mom continued to raise their three boys on her own….and if you know the Richards men, you can just imagine the challenge she had in raising those boys! Ha! She eventually remarried and welcomed two other children into her fold and the family grew even as she sadly lost her second husband a few years later. We still miss her but her influence lingers over our whole family!

                                                                   Pete's Dad

Even though Pete’s dad died when Pete was a young teenager, he would tell me what an influence he had on his life. Pete’s dad’s example of loving the Lord, loving his mom, loving the church, loving and working with teenagers in the youth department and working hard in life made an impression that was never forgotten. His mom’s continued love and example of finding strength in the Lord did not waver; so even as Pete sometimes “rebelled” in his younger years against the realization of the importance of his walk with God, it was deeply instilled in his life and he came back to knowing his “home base” was in the church serving the Lord he loved and sharing Christ through all kinds of mission opportunities both local and abroad.    

                                                                         My Dad and Mom

I, too, was blessed with incredible parents. My parents have always been that strong lighthouse in the surf for me. My dad is a retired preacher and my mom has always served right beside him in ministry.  Early on, I witnessed the strength that comes from a personal relationship that was built in thankfulness for the Lord and the grace and forgiveness that comes in Jesus. Their example of loving the Lord and loving others was ingrained in my heart from my earliest memories and continues today.

Pete and I also saw in both of our parents the joy that comes from serving together in the Lord’s work. We quickly realized we were like minded about wanting to serve Him together and so sought opportunities to do so. The Lord gave us the blessing of being able to invest in lives of young men and women both as a couple and one on one. We have always been thankful for those times and often said we have been blessed more than we possibly could have blessed them. A few of the young people we have met with over the years sometimes lamented that they did not have a Christian role model in their own parents so did not know what it “looked like” to have a Christian marriage of love and mutual respect or how to raise their own children with the Lord’s guidance. Many of them were new Christians in their marriage. What a joy it always was and still is to assure them that God would give them wisdom as they sought Him, to share with them that they could begin a new way of raising a family and become that example in their own children’s lives, to encourage them that their lives would be enriched by older men and women in the church family.

Pete’s legacy is set. His physical presence in our lives is over but the strength of the example he left will continue to be passed down from our children to their children to their children. Now, it is up to me to continue to build on the strength of what God has done in my life all these years, on the love and example of our marriage, on the sweetness of the relationships I have with our children and grandchildren and extended family, on the gifts of my friendships, on the importance of my witness in my neighborhood and on life in my city, on the abilities and skills He has given me so that I can connect with others in the US and overseas in hopes of sharing that my love and peace comes from my relationship with Christ. My legacy is still being built.. Lord, help me leave a strong legacy that points only to You!  Thank you for the gift of Pete's legacy! Thank you for the legacy you gave both of us through our parents!

“I will praise You, my God and King, and bless Your name each day and forever. Great is Jehovah! Greatly praise Him! His greatness is beyond discovery! Let each generation tell its children what glorious things He does. I will mediate about Your glory, splendor, majesty and miracles. Your awe-inspiring deeds shall be on every tongue. I will proclaim Your greatness.” Psalms 145:1-6

What kind of legacy are you leaving?

Building the "Tree"...without Pete!

Our church has presented a Singing Christmas Tree to our community for a total of 21 years. Pete was the “architect and chief construction guy” who spearheaded getting the Tree up and down each year. He also sang in every performance on every Tree! Each year, we did between 5 – 9 performances over the span of 3 – 4 days. The Tree has evolved over the years from the original wooden structure to one that now has hundreds of parts! It stretches to the ceiling of our church sanctuary and holds approximately 130 people! I used to laugh and tell Pete that I knew why he enjoyed putting it together…it was like a big tinker toy for grown men to build! Yet, in reality, I witnessed the hours and hours of time he and his best buddy, Jud who was in charge of the lighting, would put into planning for the Tree each year. Then many of us spend hours working on getting it up and ready each year.

 

The Singing Christmas Tree has always been a labor of love, one that involves many in our church - the choir, orchestra, the lighting/sound team, drama team, those who greet and usher, those who provide meals between performances for the musicians, those who come to help us sort and build the Tree and the stage, as well as those who help us take it all down and pack it away after the last performance! Pete and I always loved doing things together, so I was right there beside him at each Tree – helping to organize the pieces and parts as we would unload them from the tractor trailer, sending them in as he or Peter would call for each part as they led in the building of the Tree. Practicing the music, building the Tree, performing the Tree took a lot of our time each year, yet we felt like it was a mission project in which we could participate and use our gifts as part of the Body of Christ. It was something we gladly did together each year.

 Last year, our Minister of Music said to Pete and Jud, “My only fear is what in the world will I do if something happens to either of you!” Little did we know that sure enough, this year, we would be dealing with having to put up the Tree and do the Tree without Pete! This weekend, with heavy hearts that missed Pete tremendously yet hearts that knew we had to be Pete’s hands and feet and do this for the Lord, we began to put up the Tree.

Saturday morning, a great group of church members showed up to help us unload the tractor trailer, including a bunch of 8^th grade boys and their dads and SS teachers! I told them I knew Pete’s smile was on his face because he taught many a young teenage boy during our years in the youth ministry! Seeing those boys being there to help would have made his day! Sunday, another big crowd showed up to help us get the Tree up….Peter assumed an even greater role this year as he knew he needed to try and fill his Pop’s shoes as much as he could, Jud helped even more with the construction side of the Tree on top of his lighting responsibilities, another friend, Jim, offered to try and fill Pete’s shoes as the one who climbed all over the Tree and helped direct the building. Over and over again, we had men and women step up and say, “We are here to help…tell us what we can do! We want to honor Pete’s memory and help this year!” Pete and I used to say that was what we loved about doing the Tree – it is such a great opportunity for all different age groups to join together and share Christ’s story and love with others!

 

                            Jud, Peter, Jim and others "standing in the gap" for Pete!

Me? Yes, it has been a hard few days. I had tears in my eyes several times Saturday and Sunday as I did what I would always do for Pete which was to get the pieces organized and sorted and send them in when they were needed. A sweet friend wrote this on facebook about what she observed early Saturday morning, “Watching Brenda Richards spearhead the unloading of the Singing Christmas Tree trailer without Pete is like watching the sunset on the beach without any water. It just ain’t right but it is beautiful even so. Our sweet newly widowed friend is standing in need of prayer today. Won’t you join me? Father, may Brenda bask in the embrace of Your loving kindness and mercy as she faces every day without her Pete. Amen.”

 

What would I do without the Lord and the power of praying friends? They help me get through so many hard days! Saturday morning, my devotional from Jesus Calling included the reminder to keep my focus on Jesus all day. I thought to myself, “What a good reminder…today and tomorrow when my emotions are going to be so raw as I miss Pete in every aspect of doing this work, I need to keep reminding myself to focus on Jesus, not on Pete!” That reminder, along with my faithful praying friends, helped me be steady with only moments of tears! It is so hard to do these things that we always shared but I know I need to keep doing them. So I am trying hard...

The Tree is up! I am sure Pete is breathing a sigh of relief that we got it up without him! Ha! So many who have been touched by Pete and his influence came and helped, some who have worked beside him in this ministry before, some who came to help for the first time…together, we got it up! I know Pete is proud of everyone…and I am sure he is asking God to let it be a special Tree this year - one that will minister to many in our community!

    “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.” Psalm 105:4

Oh, how we all missed him this weekend…and we will miss him even more as we actually share the message and music of the Singing Christmas Tree the second weekend of December. But he will be there with us in spirit…we will feel his presence and he will want us to be praising the Lord with our music. I am sure there will be tears on several faces in the Tree and in the congregation as we miss Pete and remember his smiling face on all those Trees during the years but we will do our best to “look to the Lord” and feel His strength.  

                                  I know that is what Pete would want us to do!

Be still and know...

Pete and I have always loved the fall of the year. We used to go camping and hiking often – we just enjoyed being outside in God’s creation. One of our favorite camping/hiking spots was Table Rock State Park in upper South Carolina. We have climbed to the top of Table Rock many times by ourselves, with young married Sunday School classes, with youth groups and family! The last time was probably 5 years ago…we were so tired by the time that 5 hour round trip was over, we collapsed, took 4 Advil each and decided that might be the last time we would see the top of Table Rock! Ha!

"I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the One who watches over you will not slumber. The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever."  Psalms 121:1 – 3, 8

This week, I have been looking at the leaves falling off of the trees in our yard, enjoying the cool weather and realizing that fall is quickly yielding to winter.  I read a devotional by Dan Barnes that was referencing this time of year…”It’s approaching winter time, and the trees are getting bare, the grass is brown and what I see out the window isn’t gorgeous. It’s brown and looks dead, but I know there is beauty in that. There is no snow yet, just fallen leaves and bare trees and brown grass. The earth is at rest, it’s not growing, it’s not blooming, it’s asleep. We spend so much time pushing, striving and fighting. We have to do more, do better, and we forget what God tells us over and over and over again. Be still and know He is God. Be still and experience His presence. What He is doing in us and in our life is so much more than we can do to impress Him or to fix our lives. We strive so hard to please God, but in reality what pleases God is what He can do through us. Apart from Him, I can do nothing and on my own, I strive in vain.”

As I mulled over these words, I thought to myself that I am in the winter time of my grief.  I can’t fix it. There is a lot of brown grass and fallen leaves and dead plants in my life right now…and I feel like God is reminding me to rest in Him. To be still and know He is God. To be still and just be with Him. To be still and remember that He loves me and will keep His hand guiding my life. To remember that underneath the dead plants and brown grass, there is new life and that “in the spring”, it will rise through the earth and sprout again.

A dear friend has been sending me updates on some hydrangea plants in her yard that were affected by the intense heat this summer right around the time of Pete’s death. She said she thought of me as she saw the wounds in the plants. Some had leaves that were scorched, some had broken stalks and she started taking pictures of them to share with me.  The latest picture she sent me shows new growth, even a small flower cluster, among the scorched leaves. We agreed it was like God is giving us a visual reminder that even though the scars will be there, that through His love, there will be new growth. After the winter is over, there will be spring…

This fall and winter are going to be tough emotionally.  There are a lot of “firsts” that will be happening without Pete as these months pass through our lives. I know I need to soak up His strength in order to take the steps I need to take during this time. I am trying…sometimes, I remember well and sometimes, I just cry. But I can feel Jesus reminding me that underneath what feels dead in my life, He is there and He is the source of new life. I just need to hold on, be still and trust Him to bring the spring into my heart after this winter season is over.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalms 46:10