Merry Christmas, Babe!

Dear Pete,

       Oh, how I miss you! It is Christmas Day…and you are not here with me! We had a good family time with the kids and grandkids all together as usual this week, but we all missed your laugh, your teasing, your reading of the Christmas story, your constant picture taking! We acted out the Christmas story like we always do…Peter stood in for you and read from the Bible. He did a good job…you would have been proud of him for stepping into your shoes. Luke, our little Jesus in the Singing Christmas Tree, wanted to be a shepherd in our play this year, then changed to a Wise Man at the last minute when Allison let him ring a bell! I actually think he came out with the shepherds and the wise men! Ha! Noah was the sheep like he always loves to be…he is getting to be a pretty big sheep now! The rest of us filled in the rest of the parts. I know how you always liked our tradition of acting out the story of Jesus’ birth. It has always been a sweet reminder to us of the real meaning of Christmas, hasn't it?

 I wanted to tell you about the memory gifts I gave the kids and grandkids from us this year. A dear friend helped me figure out how to make the Caring Bridge entries into a book and I added photos to it, too, and gave each one of the kids a copy. That will be something we will all cherish being able to go back and read and remember... Then two dear people inspired me to do something special for the kids and grandkids. One of my friends offered to make a special quilt throw out of your jeans and flannel shirts for me and then my dear Aunt Sara showed me how she made a quilt out of Uncle Joe’s t-shirts. They inspired me to dust off my old sewing machine! I used a lot of your shirts and made each one of the kids and grandkids their own quilt throw to snuggle under during the cool winter nights! Each of the quilts had special connections between you and that child/grandchild…like for Peter, I included your barefoot water skiing t-shirt since you did that together; for Allison, your Looney Tunes shirt since she loved watching cartoons with you; for Brantley, your “I yell because I care” shirt…(remember those driving lessons and how she gave you that shirt as a thank you for teaching her? Ha!) I put special shirts and t-shirts on each of their quilts - one of your SCT shirts, Edisto shirts, Hood shirts as well as one of your white t-shirts which you always wore! The 3 oldest grandkids had a t-shirt that reminded them of their 15 year old special grandchild/Papa & B trip with them and then Noah and Luke had one of your special Carolina shirts! The quilts brought a few tears but they seemed truly happy to get something that will always be a special reminder of you!

         I will be honest with you, Babe...I totally trust the Lord with Him calling you home when He did…but it just plain stinks not having you here with me anymore! Emotionally, it has been tough going through the motions of the holidays without you beside me…I just miss you! It is hard to believe it has been 6 months! But I want you to know that I am ok and I can tell I am better…my emotions are not as raw as they were for the first few months, but that doesn’t diminish my sadness that you are not with me anymore.  I have noticed that even when I am among family and friends who I know love me, I can still feel alone sometimes because you are not there with me. It is a strange feeling…

        I have been trying hard to keep my focus on Jesus and to count my blessings... which are many! Dick preached about how important it is to keep focusing on the glory and greatness of Jesus Christ this past Sunday. He said we need to remember when we allow the glory of Jesus to break into the reality of our lives, it is life changing! That is so true for me! The glory of Jesus...and you are seeing it in person! 

        Then at the Christmas Eve service last night, Dick talked about how Jesus was “the” gift…He was a gift from God to our world! He said four things were going on the night that Jesus was born. Wondering, treasuring, glorifying and worshipping! (Luke 2) The shepherds wondered what was going on and wondered with amazement at the angels and the message. Mary treasured all that happened in her heart…I am sure the shepherds did, too! The sky shone with the glory of the Lord and the angels were praising and glorifying God! The shepherds RAN (I love that…they didn’t walk…they RAN) to go find Jesus so they could worship Him! And when they left, they told everyone they met about Jesus! Oh, what a powerful reminder that was for me. Off and on today, I have thought about those four words (wondering, treasuring, glorifying and worshipping) and have asked the Lord to show me how to do all four of those things better during this next year.

    I keep thinking about you and wondering what you are experiencing right now! You are there...you are actually worshipping Jesus in person! I can only imagine how majestic it must be for you!  One of our dear friends said yesterday that you are at His “birthday party” this year! How incredible that must be! You are actually surrounded by that glory that we can only imagine!

     Babe, I hope you have had an incredible Christmas in Heaven today! I know God has got you…He’s got me, too! I just miss you… and I love you, Brenda

                           Pete’s First Christmas in Heaven
                                               (author unknown)

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below; with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars reflecting in the snow. The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tears, for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear, but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir here. I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing. I know how much you miss me; I see the pain inside your heart, but I am not so far away, we really aren't apart. So be happy for me dear ones, you know I hold you dear, and I'll be spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above. I sent you each a memory of my undying love. After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold. It was always most important in the stories Jesus told. Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do, for I can't count the blessing or love He has for each of you. So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear. Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

                                    Merry Christmas, Babe!

"Just because we love you!"

When Brantley was a little girl, Pete and I wanted to deliberately help her develop a giving heart so we were always trying to brainstorm ways to teach her to serve and give to others. We often spent time and did things with and for our family members but we wanted her to learn to reach outside of our family and think of others.

I believe God gave us the idea of our “just because we love you” people! We had her write down names of special people in our lives in a notebook. Some of them were church friends, some were neighborhood friends, some were teachers, some were our work friends that she knew, too…friends from all walks of our lives. Every month, we let her choose one name from that list and, as a family, we would decide what we could do for that person.  Sometimes we baked cookies for them, sometimes we bought a beautiful plant, sometimes we did something special to help them. She would create a card for them to go along with our gift. It was always a lot of fun for Pete, Brantley and me to decide who was our “just because we love you” person each month!

When I started working with young moms, I shared that idea  with them and some of them took the idea and came up with their own list of people to bless as a family. Through the years, I have shared this idea with many others especially with some of my peers who are mentoring young women, too. One of these special friends and her group of young women came over last night and surprised me as their “just because we love you” person! They brought supper so we could enjoy the fellowship time and then surprised me with many gifts “based” on the 12 days of Christmas! It was such a sweet “hug” from God! They brought their love and shared it with me last night. They truly blessed me. I will cherish those hugs and that love as I go on through this Christmas season and into next year. It was so precious to be the recipient of a “just because we love you” surprise!

 

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

Continuing the Singing Christmas Tree Legacy!

 

What a powerful weekend! Our church, Shandon Baptist in Columbia, South Carolina, gave the gift of the Singing Christmas Tree to our community for the 22^nd year! Our tree held 130 singers and as our pastor said the songs mixed with the drama "shared the "magic" of Christmas as well as the "message" of Christmas of Jesus' birth"! I mentioned in an earlier post that Pete was the “chief architect” for the Tree each year and sang on every performance of each Tree for all 21 years! I will be honest with you…my heart was heavy as the Tree got closer and I thought about Pete not being there! I knew without a doubt I was supposed to be a part of the Tree and help in every way I could like I always did with Pete…but I also knew I could not do it without the strength of the Lord holding me up! I sent out an “emergency prayer request” to my “arm proper uppers” on Wednesday of this past week. I knew I needed the strength that comes from praying friends! It was so powerful to feel that strength as I went through this weekend. Without a doubt, I know that God gave me His grace and strength to make it through the Tree.

A dear friend who lost her husband 10 years ago told me to look for how God would show me that Pete was “there”! I thought about what she said…and wait til you hear how God gave me the gift of “having Pete” with us!

 

First of all, Allison decided she would sing in the Tree with me! She has not been able to participate in the Tree for years so it was such a blessing to have her beside me as we practiced over these past few months and then this whole weekend as we performed the Tree! We were four rows from the top - right in the middle! We had fun doing it together and she stayed with me all the way through take down last night…until the last piece of the Tree was put in the trailer and we shut the door at 12:30 AM! We had a great crowd of people come and help us with take down…which was such a huge blessing! So Pete was with me on the Tree through the gift of the presence of “our” daughter standing beside me as we sang songs to glorify the Lord!!

 
Then a couple of weeks ago, the door opened for Brantley, Josh and Luke to be in the drama as Mary, Joseph and the 2 year old Jesus when the Wise Men came to see him! Since they live in Raleigh, it took a lot of effort on their part to make this work but they felt honored to be able to participate…for the glory of the Lord and to honor Pete. They did great…and Luke was a fun 2 year old Jesus! He loved it and made lots of new friends! As they left today to go home, I told him, “Thank you for coming to B’s church and being in the Christmas play.” Luke said, “Good time! Do it again sometime!” Josh stayed with me at the church last night until 12:30 AM, too, and helped put the Tree away for the year. So Pete was with me through the gift of 3 generations being represented through the presence of Brantley , Josh and Luke participating in the Tree with me!

 Then 3 more of our grandchildren, our other son-in-law and Pete’s brothers and their wives helped with the  logistics of the Tree presentations! Jackson came on Wed night to fill in for Josh and help Brantley with Luke and the drama. Katherine and Noah came and ushered every single performance! They enjoyed mingling with the crowds and helping people find a seat! Rob was helping with crowd control at each performance! So Pete was with me on the Tree through the gift of more grandchildren , a son-in-law and  extended family helping to make the Tree go smoothly and create an atmosphere of  welcome and safety and once again having 3 generations represented through their gift of time.

 

Then we were able to have the pleasure of "AudreyAnnaPete” play the part of Baby Jesus! She is the baby of one of our young married Sunday School couples. I wrote about her on the October 22^nd blogpost because she helped bring me happy feelings by her birth on the 4 month anniversary of Pete’s death. She did great and Brantley loved being able to hold her and love on her! So Pete was with me through the gift of AudreyAnna as she represented to me Pete’s joy in working with young couples!

 

I did good all week and weekend until I climbed down from the Tree after the final performance! The tears flowed…but I had lots of shoulders and hugs to get me through that emotional time! I am sure it was all the pent up emotion of going through all the performances of the Tree without the presence of the man I love who loved this production. I needed to cry it out because soon after, I had to get busy and help organize the take down of the Tree like I always did for Pete.

 Our Minister of Music graciously put a picture of Pete in the program along with these words: This year’s presentation of the Singing Christmas Tree marks the first year that we’ve done it without our ”chief architect” Pete Richards. This past summer, Pete went to be with the Lord after a brief illness. He left a space that will never be filled in our hearts as well as in the construction and presentation of the Singing Christmas Tree. Though Pete is not here with us this year, his fingerprints are all over tonight’s presentation both physically and figuratively. It is with gratitude for a life well lived that we remember Pete Richards this Christmas season.

I wrote this to some folks today...” Pete will always be so alive in our lives as we continue to do whatever God wants us to do here on earth. God is teaching me that life will never be the same as it was with Pete and I will always miss him, but it will still be good. I am trusting Him for that...”

I am so thankful for our church and the vision we have worked on together for so many years to share the gospel through the Singing Christmas Tree. I am so thankful for Pete’s vision and love for the Tree. I think I can speak for the whole Richards family to assure Shandon Baptist Church that we will continue to be there to help with the Singing Christmas Tree every year….after all, we have a legacy to uphold and pass down!

 

         Thank you, Pete, for giving so much through the years

        to make the Singing Christmas Tree such a powerful gift

       to our community! We will fill your shoes as best as we can!

    We love you and miss you more than anyone could possibly know!

Lessons from Mary

“And Mary said, ‘Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.’” Luke 1:38  

I have been talking to the Lord a lot about Christmas… I know it is going to be so hard emotionally this year for our whole family to celebrate without Pete. It will be a happy/sad time. We will be truly be happy knowing that Pete will actually be celebrating the birth of Christ with the Lord this year...how incredible that will be for him! But here on earth, it will be sad in many ways as we adjust to celebrating Christmas without Pete’s happy presence with us!

With all of this running through my mind this week, I have specifically asked the Lord to teach me what He wanted me to learn through this hard journey this Christmas. He keeps bringing Mary, the mother of Jesus, to my mind so I have been reading scripture and reflecting on her life. She obviously must have had incredible trust and faith in God for Him to have chosen her out of all the women on earth to bear His only Son. In Luke 1:38, I find it amazing that she yields herself so completely to the Lord as soon as she hears the angel say that she would bear the Son of God! Did she really realize how much her life was getting ready to change? Was she scared? Was she worried? Oh, to be so trusting and submissive to the Lord like Mary when He brings life changes into life like He did for me this year!

In my readings this week, I found a devotional about Mary written by Melanie Chitwood from Proverbs 31 Ministries and I have been mulling over some of her reflections…

“God wants us to remember that before she was Mary, the mother of Jesus, she was just Mary, an ordinary girl like you and me. I can just imagine her loving Joseph and being excited about her future marriage to him. I can see her discussing with her parents the many plans for her new life.

Each ordinary day brought to Mary many small opportunities to turn toward God in faith or away from God in doubt or selfishness. And each day Mary chose to say yes to the small things God placed before her. Yes, God I’ll serve my family as I clean and cook. Yes, God, I’ll be your hands and heart right here in my family and community.

And then – an angel appears. Suddenly this ordinary girl on this ordinary day comes face to face with her extraordinary God. Gabriel reminds her, “For nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37). Despite being afraid and puzzled, this proclamation seems to be all the assurance Mary needs.

I believe one of the reasons God chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus is that He had seen each time Mary had said yes in the small moments of her life. These everyday steps of faith had been her training ground, and He knew that she was ready to say yes to the extraordinary plan he set before her. God knew that throughout her life, Mary would say, Nothing will be impossible with God.

As we say yes to the daily, ordinary moments of our lives, let us be reminded that we are saying yes to our extraordinary God. May He find us faithful, just as Mary was faithful.”

What a good reminder to me! Because Mary yielded to God, her life was changed forever…yet she was still Mary. Think of all the roles she had to fulfill – a child, a wife, a mother, and later, a grandmother. In all these roles, and especially as the mother of Jesus, she would have loved, laughed, cared, cried, and suffered as she saw her Son being killed on the cross…and then rejoiced when He rose from the dead three days later! I am sure that her life was a roller coast of emotions! Yet she set the example of a life yielded to be used by God no matter what was going on!

Yielding…such an easy word to say, but such a hard word to do! This week, I have been thinking about how through her example, she showed me that her willingness to yield to the Sovereignty of God is what brought glory to Him.  I was convicted to remember that I need to daily seek to yield to His will for my life in order to bring Him glory. I can so easily allow myself to be consumed by my loneliness and sadness in missing Pete but I am trying to deliberately choose to yield every day to this new path God has sent me on. It is a daily battle…but I have learned that there is joy and peace in this yielding. He is teaching me…and for that I am grateful. It doesn’t make me miss Pete less but it makes the walk easier when I yield to Him than when I try to walk my “own” path filled with thorny tears and potholes of sadness!

I have always believed that when He finds us faithful in the small things, He will challenge us to do the next step in serving Him. I am not sure yet of all He has in mind for me to do. I do believe He is slowly pulling back the curtain and letting me see bits and pieces of the next steps. I sometimes still find myself crying over the thought of “doing” these things without Pete…but, at the same time, I know with all of my heart that I must keep moving forward toward seeking how He wants me to serve Him.  He is reminding me to remember that “nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).

Oh, Father, help me learn to yield to You every single day!

Thanksgiving Thoughts...

Thanksgiving – a time to give thanks and be with family. As Thanksgiving was approaching, I knew I needed to work to direct my focus on the Lord because if I didn't, I could easily get swallowed up in my sorrow of missing Pete during this special family time of the year. So I decided I wanted to concentrate on being thankful to the Lord for Who He is and I wrote down these verses to memorize:

“Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! Worship the Lord with gladness; Come before Him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us and we are His! We are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness continues to each generation.” Psalms 100

Pete and I always loved the gathering together of the family at our house. We have hosted Pete’s large extended family for years. As I thought about preparing for that many folks to be at the house without Pete’s help, I did have to consider how I was going to handle everything! Pete and I were always a good team and worked hard together to make all the preparations happen and happen well when we would host events! So I did what any wise mother/grandmother would do…called on available children and grandchildren to come earlier in the week and help! They were great…and it was a good way to share the work load with a lot of laughs thrown in the mix. It also was a good way to begin “teaching” little 2 year old Luke how important it was to be a helper with the family. He joined right in with Jackson, Noah, Brantley and Josh as they swept and raked and worked together!

 We had 30 family members here for Thanksgiving with 3 guests adding to our special day. That is one thing that Pete and I always made sure the family knew…anyone who needed a family was welcome at our table on Thanksgiving! Even though I knew this year would be harder emotionally for all of us, I made sure the family knew that the door was still wide open to all guests!  One of our guests was a dear high school friend of Brantley’s; our other two guests were international grad students at USC who were befriended by Jackie. They were from Pakistan and Senegal…and they were Muslim. What a joy it was to my heart to have them with us as it just seemed like another part of Pete’s mission heart was shared at our table this year.

 Each year, we have a family tradition of sharing one thing we are most thankful for over the past year. I think the family regretted that I started the sharing time because (through tears) I said I was most thankful for Pete and his life and the gift of our marriage for so many years! As we went around the circle sharing, I noticed that thankfulness for family and/or the Lord was on almost every heart and often that thanks was accompanied with a tear or two! I think all of us realized that God has given us such a gift of salvation through His Son and through the gifts of family and love…and that is what is most important in life…not income or “stuff” that we collect. Our family has experienced the finality of life on this earth this year…when Pete left, he didn’t take anything with him except the love of the Lord and our love. It made the verse in Psalm 100 even more real… “Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us and we are His! “ Pete’s “stuff” is still here but Pete’s soul, the part of him who is "really Pete", is in heaven with His Savior! We are so thankful for knowing that and it brings us great joy and comfort! As Peter said during his sharing time, "We are thankful that Pop is looking into the eyes of His Savior today!" 

Our new international friends have each been in America for 3 years but this is the first American home they have been in for Thanksgiving! They both said how thankful they were to have experienced an “American Thanksgiving”! We laughed as we told them that if they can enjoy the craziness of our big family, the crowded kitchen, flour flying as biscuits are being made, turkey being cut at the last minute, everyone pitching in to keep hot dishes hot and cold dishes cold, squeezing in together to make enough room for everyone, and stuffing yourself until you cannot eat another bite – then you have truly experienced a typical American Thanksgiving! I think deliberately inviting international guests will be a new part of our family Thanksgiving from now on…We hope the prayer that was lifted to the Lord before we ate as well as the fellowship and friendships they enjoyed will open a door to their hearts to want to know more about this Jesus we love.

Thanksgiving was a hard day emotionally…but a sweet one, too. It was good to be with family but we all missed Pete and his presence with us so much! We will always be thankful for his love and his joy in our family…and that is something that will never disappear!

During this holiday season, I want to encourage you cherish your family even more than usual….enjoy every moment with them! Don’t sweat the “stuff”…appreciate the love and joy of family and enjoy making memories with them! Reach out to others...especially those who don't know Jesus! Worship the Lord every day! He is so worth it!! He deserves our love and our praise! Time is way too short on this earth and you never know when things will change! 

“Give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness continues to each generation.”

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me

 through this tradition of Thanksgiving in our country

 that I need to be truly thankful most of all for You...

through good times and hard times!!

Legacy

As I have been thinking about the legacy that Pete left our family in his involvement with the mission of the Singing Christmas Tree, it also made me think how that is just one small part of the strength of the legacy he has left our children and grandchildren as a man of God. He sought to live out these commandments in the Bible.

“Jesus said, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37 – 39

 

Last Christmas with Pete's mom

 

Pete’s growth in the Lord took place over many years and his strength in his relationship with Jesus became sweeter and deeper as he grew older. As Thanksgiving approaches this week, it made me reflect on how thankful I am for our parents. We were both blessed to have been brought up by parents who loved the Lord and shared that love with us at a young age - helping us see the incredible need in our lives for our own relationship with Jesus as our Savior and Lord. Pete’s dad died when he was 15 so his mom continued to raise their three boys on her own….and if you know the Richards men, you can just imagine the challenge she had in raising those boys! Ha! She eventually remarried and welcomed two other children into her fold and the family grew even as she sadly lost her second husband a few years later. We still miss her but her influence lingers over our whole family!

                                                                   Pete's Dad

Even though Pete’s dad died when Pete was a young teenager, he would tell me what an influence he had on his life. Pete’s dad’s example of loving the Lord, loving his mom, loving the church, loving and working with teenagers in the youth department and working hard in life made an impression that was never forgotten. His mom’s continued love and example of finding strength in the Lord did not waver; so even as Pete sometimes “rebelled” in his younger years against the realization of the importance of his walk with God, it was deeply instilled in his life and he came back to knowing his “home base” was in the church serving the Lord he loved and sharing Christ through all kinds of mission opportunities both local and abroad.    

                                                                         My Dad and Mom

I, too, was blessed with incredible parents. My parents have always been that strong lighthouse in the surf for me. My dad is a retired preacher and my mom has always served right beside him in ministry.  Early on, I witnessed the strength that comes from a personal relationship that was built in thankfulness for the Lord and the grace and forgiveness that comes in Jesus. Their example of loving the Lord and loving others was ingrained in my heart from my earliest memories and continues today.

Pete and I also saw in both of our parents the joy that comes from serving together in the Lord’s work. We quickly realized we were like minded about wanting to serve Him together and so sought opportunities to do so. The Lord gave us the blessing of being able to invest in lives of young men and women both as a couple and one on one. We have always been thankful for those times and often said we have been blessed more than we possibly could have blessed them. A few of the young people we have met with over the years sometimes lamented that they did not have a Christian role model in their own parents so did not know what it “looked like” to have a Christian marriage of love and mutual respect or how to raise their own children with the Lord’s guidance. Many of them were new Christians in their marriage. What a joy it always was and still is to assure them that God would give them wisdom as they sought Him, to share with them that they could begin a new way of raising a family and become that example in their own children’s lives, to encourage them that their lives would be enriched by older men and women in the church family.

Pete’s legacy is set. His physical presence in our lives is over but the strength of the example he left will continue to be passed down from our children to their children to their children. Now, it is up to me to continue to build on the strength of what God has done in my life all these years, on the love and example of our marriage, on the sweetness of the relationships I have with our children and grandchildren and extended family, on the gifts of my friendships, on the importance of my witness in my neighborhood and on life in my city, on the abilities and skills He has given me so that I can connect with others in the US and overseas in hopes of sharing that my love and peace comes from my relationship with Christ. My legacy is still being built.. Lord, help me leave a strong legacy that points only to You!  Thank you for the gift of Pete's legacy! Thank you for the legacy you gave both of us through our parents!

“I will praise You, my God and King, and bless Your name each day and forever. Great is Jehovah! Greatly praise Him! His greatness is beyond discovery! Let each generation tell its children what glorious things He does. I will mediate about Your glory, splendor, majesty and miracles. Your awe-inspiring deeds shall be on every tongue. I will proclaim Your greatness.” Psalms 145:1-6

What kind of legacy are you leaving?

Building the "Tree"...without Pete!

Our church has presented a Singing Christmas Tree to our community for a total of 21 years. Pete was the “architect and chief construction guy” who spearheaded getting the Tree up and down each year. He also sang in every performance on every Tree! Each year, we did between 5 – 9 performances over the span of 3 – 4 days. The Tree has evolved over the years from the original wooden structure to one that now has hundreds of parts! It stretches to the ceiling of our church sanctuary and holds approximately 130 people! I used to laugh and tell Pete that I knew why he enjoyed putting it together…it was like a big tinker toy for grown men to build! Yet, in reality, I witnessed the hours and hours of time he and his best buddy, Jud who was in charge of the lighting, would put into planning for the Tree each year. Then many of us spend hours working on getting it up and ready each year.

 

The Singing Christmas Tree has always been a labor of love, one that involves many in our church - the choir, orchestra, the lighting/sound team, drama team, those who greet and usher, those who provide meals between performances for the musicians, those who come to help us sort and build the Tree and the stage, as well as those who help us take it all down and pack it away after the last performance! Pete and I always loved doing things together, so I was right there beside him at each Tree – helping to organize the pieces and parts as we would unload them from the tractor trailer, sending them in as he or Peter would call for each part as they led in the building of the Tree. Practicing the music, building the Tree, performing the Tree took a lot of our time each year, yet we felt like it was a mission project in which we could participate and use our gifts as part of the Body of Christ. It was something we gladly did together each year.

 Last year, our Minister of Music said to Pete and Jud, “My only fear is what in the world will I do if something happens to either of you!” Little did we know that sure enough, this year, we would be dealing with having to put up the Tree and do the Tree without Pete! This weekend, with heavy hearts that missed Pete tremendously yet hearts that knew we had to be Pete’s hands and feet and do this for the Lord, we began to put up the Tree.

Saturday morning, a great group of church members showed up to help us unload the tractor trailer, including a bunch of 8^th grade boys and their dads and SS teachers! I told them I knew Pete’s smile was on his face because he taught many a young teenage boy during our years in the youth ministry! Seeing those boys being there to help would have made his day! Sunday, another big crowd showed up to help us get the Tree up….Peter assumed an even greater role this year as he knew he needed to try and fill his Pop’s shoes as much as he could, Jud helped even more with the construction side of the Tree on top of his lighting responsibilities, another friend, Jim, offered to try and fill Pete’s shoes as the one who climbed all over the Tree and helped direct the building. Over and over again, we had men and women step up and say, “We are here to help…tell us what we can do! We want to honor Pete’s memory and help this year!” Pete and I used to say that was what we loved about doing the Tree – it is such a great opportunity for all different age groups to join together and share Christ’s story and love with others!

 

                            Jud, Peter, Jim and others "standing in the gap" for Pete!

Me? Yes, it has been a hard few days. I had tears in my eyes several times Saturday and Sunday as I did what I would always do for Pete which was to get the pieces organized and sorted and send them in when they were needed. A sweet friend wrote this on facebook about what she observed early Saturday morning, “Watching Brenda Richards spearhead the unloading of the Singing Christmas Tree trailer without Pete is like watching the sunset on the beach without any water. It just ain’t right but it is beautiful even so. Our sweet newly widowed friend is standing in need of prayer today. Won’t you join me? Father, may Brenda bask in the embrace of Your loving kindness and mercy as she faces every day without her Pete. Amen.”

 

What would I do without the Lord and the power of praying friends? They help me get through so many hard days! Saturday morning, my devotional from Jesus Calling included the reminder to keep my focus on Jesus all day. I thought to myself, “What a good reminder…today and tomorrow when my emotions are going to be so raw as I miss Pete in every aspect of doing this work, I need to keep reminding myself to focus on Jesus, not on Pete!” That reminder, along with my faithful praying friends, helped me be steady with only moments of tears! It is so hard to do these things that we always shared but I know I need to keep doing them. So I am trying hard...

The Tree is up! I am sure Pete is breathing a sigh of relief that we got it up without him! Ha! So many who have been touched by Pete and his influence came and helped, some who have worked beside him in this ministry before, some who came to help for the first time…together, we got it up! I know Pete is proud of everyone…and I am sure he is asking God to let it be a special Tree this year - one that will minister to many in our community!

    “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.” Psalm 105:4

Oh, how we all missed him this weekend…and we will miss him even more as we actually share the message and music of the Singing Christmas Tree the second weekend of December. But he will be there with us in spirit…we will feel his presence and he will want us to be praising the Lord with our music. I am sure there will be tears on several faces in the Tree and in the congregation as we miss Pete and remember his smiling face on all those Trees during the years but we will do our best to “look to the Lord” and feel His strength.  

                                  I know that is what Pete would want us to do!

Be still and know...

Pete and I have always loved the fall of the year. We used to go camping and hiking often – we just enjoyed being outside in God’s creation. One of our favorite camping/hiking spots was Table Rock State Park in upper South Carolina. We have climbed to the top of Table Rock many times by ourselves, with young married Sunday School classes, with youth groups and family! The last time was probably 5 years ago…we were so tired by the time that 5 hour round trip was over, we collapsed, took 4 Advil each and decided that might be the last time we would see the top of Table Rock! Ha!

"I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the One who watches over you will not slumber. The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever."  Psalms 121:1 – 3, 8

This week, I have been looking at the leaves falling off of the trees in our yard, enjoying the cool weather and realizing that fall is quickly yielding to winter.  I read a devotional by Dan Barnes that was referencing this time of year…”It’s approaching winter time, and the trees are getting bare, the grass is brown and what I see out the window isn’t gorgeous. It’s brown and looks dead, but I know there is beauty in that. There is no snow yet, just fallen leaves and bare trees and brown grass. The earth is at rest, it’s not growing, it’s not blooming, it’s asleep. We spend so much time pushing, striving and fighting. We have to do more, do better, and we forget what God tells us over and over and over again. Be still and know He is God. Be still and experience His presence. What He is doing in us and in our life is so much more than we can do to impress Him or to fix our lives. We strive so hard to please God, but in reality what pleases God is what He can do through us. Apart from Him, I can do nothing and on my own, I strive in vain.”

As I mulled over these words, I thought to myself that I am in the winter time of my grief.  I can’t fix it. There is a lot of brown grass and fallen leaves and dead plants in my life right now…and I feel like God is reminding me to rest in Him. To be still and know He is God. To be still and just be with Him. To be still and remember that He loves me and will keep His hand guiding my life. To remember that underneath the dead plants and brown grass, there is new life and that “in the spring”, it will rise through the earth and sprout again.

A dear friend has been sending me updates on some hydrangea plants in her yard that were affected by the intense heat this summer right around the time of Pete’s death. She said she thought of me as she saw the wounds in the plants. Some had leaves that were scorched, some had broken stalks and she started taking pictures of them to share with me.  The latest picture she sent me shows new growth, even a small flower cluster, among the scorched leaves. We agreed it was like God is giving us a visual reminder that even though the scars will be there, that through His love, there will be new growth. After the winter is over, there will be spring…

This fall and winter are going to be tough emotionally.  There are a lot of “firsts” that will be happening without Pete as these months pass through our lives. I know I need to soak up His strength in order to take the steps I need to take during this time. I am trying…sometimes, I remember well and sometimes, I just cry. But I can feel Jesus reminding me that underneath what feels dead in my life, He is there and He is the source of new life. I just need to hold on, be still and trust Him to bring the spring into my heart after this winter season is over.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalms 46:10

So many storms...

There are so many storms going on in the world today…I think when we go through major storms in our own lives, it makes us even more sensitive when we hear of storms happening in other people’s lives. My heart has been breaking for so many lately… friends or friends of friends who have lost their spouses, friends who are walking through really hard times with children, unexpected deaths of teenagers, our Americans killed in Benghazi and Afghanistan, unrest in Syria and Lebanon, the heart breaking season ending injury to Gamecock football player Marcus Lattimore Saturday (Pete loved watching him play for his beloved Gamecocks but even more, he loved hearing about how Marcus lived life for his Savior, Jesus Christ), …and now, whatever will come from the damage done by Hurricane Sandy as it comes ashore tonight…so many storms.

Sunday morning, I woke up hearing Casting Crowns’ song, Praise You in this storm, playing on WMHK. As I listened to the words and just absorbed them for my own life, I also prayed them for those who are going through their own storms. This song has played in my mind all day yesterday and today. What a good reminder to trust and praise Him even in the storms…

“I was sure by now God, You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say, ‘Amen’, and it’s still raining.

As the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain, ‘I’m with You’ and as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

I’ll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand, You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind, You heard my cry, You raised me up again, my strength is almost gone, how can I carry on if I can’t find You.

I lift my eyes unto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth.

I’ll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.”

At our church later Sunday, I was talking to our dear friend, Adrian Despres, the Gamecocks’ Chaplain and an evangelist with Kingdom Builders  about Marcus. I told him I was praying for him as he ministered to Marcus and his family as well as to the team because I knew their hearts were so saddened by this loss for Marcus and for the team. Adrian said he played offense on his college football team so he was always thinking offensively about life situations.  He believes in using any situation as a reminder to "score" and do all we can to fight Satan and what he is throwing at us in this world. He said when Pete died, he used that as an encouragement to go out and share Christ even more with others because Pete's unexpected death reminded him how short life is and that there are so many who don’t know Christ like Pete did. Not long after Pete went home, they were eating out and he was able to share Christ with a guy who waited on their table…and he accepted Christ! Adrian said he would encourage Marcus and the team to use this as an example to show how Christ can work through hard times...Good words for stormy times…

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fires of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God.” Isaiah 43:2

                 “You are who You are…no matter where I am…

         though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.”

 

New life on the 22nd!

I think Pete has been whispering in God’s ear! I am sure he convinced God to send me a gift today! A few weeks ago, one of our precious young moms in one of our young married Sunday School classes told me that their little girl was expected on Oct 22^nd. I smiled at her and said, “Oh, that would be special news to me! It would give me something to rejoice about on the 22^ndinstead of just being sad about it being the 4 month anniversary of Pete going home.” A few days ago, this mom, who loved Pete dearly, wrote me to say she had been thinking about what I said and it made her happy to think about Pete “helping” to send AudreyAnna to us all on the 22nd. Sure enough…she came bright and early this morning! She doesn’t know it yet, but she will always be “AudreyAnnaPete” to me and will bring a smile to my face!

Welcome to our world, AudreyAnnaPete!

Later today, the husband of another one of our precious young couples called to check on me and see if the guys needed to come and help me in the yard again. While we were on the phone, he said, “I want you to know that our son (who is almost 4) prays for you every single night and has since Pete died!” Now, this sweet young boy doesn’t really know me…but he knew his parents loved Pete and me and were so sad when Pete died….and his tender heart heard them pray for me and took hold of that thought and now initiates it every night! How God blesses us when we don’t even know it! And how precious of young parents to teach their children to “stand in the gap” at a young age for those who need prayer. That is the power and the gift of the church body, the “Body of Christ”!

 

An old hymn has been rattling around in my mind and heart all week. It has been a tough week of misty eyes, sweet memories, and extra sadness in missing Pete…While walking at the beach last weekend, I took this picture of the waves crashing wildly upon the shore! A part of an old hymn, “When sorrows like sea billows roll” kept running through my mind but I couldn’t remember the rest of it. A dear friend reminded me it was “It is well with my soul”. My first thought was, “Well, it is NOT well with my soul, that is for sure! I am too sad and too hurt for it to be well!” But then the more I thought about it, I realized it WAS well with my soul. I love my Lord and I trust Him completely with Pete’s life and my life. So even though I still deeply grieve here on earth with missing Pete, my soul…my love for Jesus, my thankfulness for all He has given and done for me, my peace in the midst of my sorrow… is well.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

let this blest assurance control,

that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

and hath shed his own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well with my soul,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

 

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication,

with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the

peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your

hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

 All who sail the sea of faith , find out before too long

How quickly blue skies can grow dark  and gentle winds grow strong

Suddenly fear is like white water pounding on the soul

Still we sail on knowing that our Lord is in control.
Sometimes He calms the storm with a whispered peace be still

He can settle any sea But it doesn't mean He will.
Sometimes He holds us close and lets the wind and waves go wild

Sometimes He calms the storm and other times He calms His child.
He has a reason for each trial that we pass through in life

And though we're shaken we cannot be pulled apart from Christ.
No matter how the driving rain beats down on those who hold to faith

A heart of trust will always be a quiet peaceful place. (Scott Krippayne)

 It is well, It is well with my soul!

"Two hours, tops!"

That was a standing joke between Pete and me! Whenever there was a job that needed to be done around the house, Pete would always say it would only take “Two hours, tops!” Usually two days or two weeks later, we were still working on it! We would often say, “Everything we do turns into a ‘project’!”

Well, this week has been full of ‘projects’! And God has been teaching me some lessons through it all! Last Monday night, I had a major water problem and ended up needing to have the septic tank pumped and the line cleaned out! Yuk! Yet through it all, God was in control…even when I didn’t realize it! Our youngest daughter “just happened” to be spending the night with me Monday night and so she was here to keep me from just bursting into tears! We worked together to move heavy furniture and use Pete’s shop vac to vacuum up water until 1 AM! (Lesson 1 – Trust Me to provide for your needs…even if it is just encouraging words and a strong, younger back!)

 Then the next morning, He sent just the right people to my aid! I called a dear friend from church who helped connect me with others who could help. We only had one problem…we knew where the septic tank pipe came out of the ground but didn’t know exactly where the tank was in our woods. It had been so long since we had it cleaned out, I couldn’t remember. They probed and looked and looked for at least 30 minutes. I was trying to make some calls to see if anyone remembered exactly where the tank could be…but couldn’t reach anyone. Then I realized that I had not even prayed one time and asked the Lord to help! I stopped right then and apologized to Him for forgetting to go to Him first and asked him to please help those men find that tank. I want you to know when I walked outside, one of them looked up and said, “We just found it!” I felt like God said, “It is so good you have all this help, but don’t forget to come to me first, then we will work on using all the help!” (Lesson 2 – Remember, Brenda…always, always, always go to Me first!)

Once the septic tank problem was solved, I still needed to deal with the wet carpet and once again, God sent two special men from church to come over and help with that situation. The incredible thing is that one of these men had come up to me at church last Sunday morning and said the two of them had been talking and wanted to see if there was anything they needed to do to help me. I thanked him but told him that I didn’t know of anything right then!! Well, when these two men walked into my door Tuesday night to help with my wet carpet, I said, “Can you believe how the Lord had prepared your heart to know that I was going to need some help before any of us knew it!” Several different men came during the week to help me manage the carpet situation and were such a blessing! (Lesson 3 – I know what is going to happen and am preparing hearts to help you before you even know it!)

Then, this weekend, I had another house situation that required friends willing to share their knowledge, time and energy in order to do some repair work. It was completed well, lots of other work was done, and we enjoyed great fellowship while being together. (Lesson 4 – You are not alone…I’ve got your back and have some pretty incredible people who are helping Me take care of you!)

Did I miss Pete during all of this? Oh, my, YES!! Without a doubt! I missed his wisdom, his help, his handling of situations, his work ethic, his enjoyment of the fellowship of working alongside others to complete a job. I do not like having to manage all of this on my own…but I continue to be amazed at what God is teaching me about how through it all, He is there.

         Thank you, Lord, for lessons learned…whether it takes two hours, tops, or longer!