Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
You are my Father, my God and the Rock of my salvation!”
Psalms 89:11, 15-17, 26
Thank you, Lord, for Who You are!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
I want to be a tree!
We have had a lot of rain here these last few days. I was walking with my Dad a couple of days after my Mom went home to Heaven. He is exactly where I was this time last year…barely putting one foot in front of the other, wondering how in the world he is going to take the next step without Mom, grieving down to the depths of his soul. As we walked, we looked up and saw an absolutely beautiful rainbow stretched from end to end in the sky above us! We stood there in awe and I said, “Daddy, that is a hug from God to you! Think about what a rainbow means…it is a sign of God’s promises, a sign of new beginnings!” I know God meant for Daddy to see His rainbow…it didn’t last long…if we had come out earlier or later, we would have missed it. I love it when He shows us His Father love…
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Soon after Pete
died, one of my precious sisters-in-law gave me a book, My Beautiful Broken Shell, by Carol
Hamblet Adams. I have often thought about the words in this book this year….and
today in particular, they come back to mind. I want to share some of those
just as I am.”
One year ago today, God called my Pete home. It has been a hard year, a long year. A year filled with sweet rememberings. Lots of hugs from family and friends. Many, many tears yet many smiles, too. A year of trying to figure out life without Pete, a life that seeks to go on and serve the Lord without the man I loved beside me, a life that is lonely in many ways yet filled as I still trust God as my loving Father. One year ago, our family was surrounding Pete with our love and prayers as he slipped into God’s presence.
Today, as I am so full of a heart already raw with my emotions from my memories of this time last year, I am sitting at the bedside of my precious Mom whom the Lord may call home on this very same day! She has reached the end of her life here on earth…she will slip up to Heaven anytime now. I told her the other day that I knew Jesus would be the first One to hug her and welcome her home…and then right behind Jesus would be a huge group of people who would be so excited to see her…a group that would include her mother and father and lots of relatives and friends who have gone before us….and that I knew Pete would be right there in the midst of them all with his big smile, ready to wrap his arms around her and give her a hug! When we realized a few days ago that this time was probably going to happen sometime this week, I couldn’t help but cry out to God, “Why now? Why this week, Father? Why when this particular week is already so full of raw memories and emotions?” Almost immediately, I felt Him say, “Are you going to trust Me? You do not have to know why…you just have to know that I know and that is enough.” There it is again…the lesson of yielding to His Sovereignty that I have had to learn over and over again this year! But oh, how I realize what I have lost (am losing) in one year…two of the people who loved me unconditionally as well as two of my biggest prayer warriors! As I thanked Mom again the other day for praying for me so faithfully through all these years, I told her I didn’t expect that to stop…in fact, she would now have an even more direct link to Jesus so I was expecting her to be even more fervent in her prayers for me!
I have been thinking about those two sand dollars with the holes in the middle of them that God helped me find last year right after Pete died. I have them framed in my kitchen and look at them often. I am still the sand dollar with the big hole in the middle of it…but I can look at the one with the smaller hole and believe that I will eventually get there. As I talk to my grieving Dad this week and hear him say that he cannot imagine life without his partner of almost 60 years, I find myself sharing with him many words that I heard from the Lord and others this time last year…I smile inside as I hear me say those words to him and think of how I was encouraged by so many during this past year as my sorrow was so pressing, so real, so deep. This year has not been easy…but I have felt the love of many as I sought to take the next steps in life for Him. My Dad will be fine…but he will also have to walk through that valley of the shadow of death, as he learns to live without my Mom. I know family and caring friends will be right beside him each step of the way helping to hold his arms up during this hard journey as they have been for me.
“A wave crashes, sending tiny sand crabs scurrying for safety…and I am reminded that even the smallest creatures depend on each other. Especially in our brokenness, we need the Lord…and we need one another. Thank you, Lord, for filling my life with people who care. Thank you for my family…for my friends…for those who are always there for me….As I look once more at the broken shell in my hand, I am reminded of all the beautiful shells God has placed around me. Lord, may I truly value every moment spent with my loved ones while this life is so briefly mine…May I cherish and appreciate my shell collection each and every day…for I know not when the tide will come and wash my treasures away.”
I recently heard Tony Evans say, “A valley is a mountain waiting to happen!” I love that…I am looking forward to climbing back up on a mountain again. In the meantime, as I continue to walk through this valley of missing Pete and now missing my Mom alongside my Dad, I will just keep holding on tight to the hand of the One who has not let go of me. He is the only One who can really help us get from that valley back up to that mountain top.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted..." Psalms 34:18a