"I am hanging on to you!"

Our youngest grandson, Luke,  loves to hold hands. He is always reaching out for his Mama or Daddy's hand when they are around. He was with me for a few days this week. As a curious 2 ½ year old, he is always eager to explore the world around him!  He was walking on the benches on our deck and needed to step from one bench to another. He realized that the step was too far for him to make by himself without falling so he reached out for me to hold his hand and said, “I am hanging on to you, B!” I smiled to myself and thought, “Lord, that is exactly what I am doing with You…reaching out and hanging on to Your hand as I step over these new spaces in life that are too much for me to handle by myself! I need to hold Your hand to keep me from falling!”

This past month, I have really had to hold tight to the Lord’s hand! I have been overseas in several different countries doing educational work and mission work. I have met some incredible people who have a heart of compassion for those of their own country and other incredible people who are expats and are giving their lives and hearts to those in their “adopted” countries.

God used this month to teach me much about Him and about trusting Him in the midst of my woundedness.  I will share bits and pieces of my trip as time goes on but today I wanted to share some precious memories of how God “held my hand” and showed me He was right there with me.

Even though I met up with people in each place I went, I was going to be traveling alone on this adventure. Thankfully, Pete and I have traveled a lot through the years so I was not afraid to handle the logistics of flying and getting through airports, etc. But before I left, I had a specific conversation with the Lord reminding Him that Pete had always been my “navigator” when we traveled! Pete used to tease me about being “directionally challenged”! Ha! I knew I was going to need the Lord’s help as I traveled alone!  I asked Him to be my navigator in all the different airports and in all the direction decisions I would have to make when I was alone.

I first flew to Paris and had one whole day by myself before I was to meet with some friends below Paris.  Pete and I had been blessed to visit Paris several times and I really didn’t think I could emotionally handle going where we had been before so I decided to visit a new place -the palace of Versaille.  I had to figure out the tickets I needed and route to take on the bus and trains! It was a constant challenge to find people who could speak enough English to help me when I had a question. When I got off the first train, I followed the signs to where I thought I was supposed to catch the second train…but as it was a busy, busy train station, I decided to ask someone to make sure I was right. I noticed a family with two teenage boys and asked if they could speak English…thankfully, the boys and father could! They were from Belgium and said they were going to Versailles, too! So we stood there and talked and when the train came, we got on together and continued to talk during the train ride. Sometime during the ride, I shared with them that my husband had died of cancer this past summer and as I teared up, I said, “But we are Christians and so I know he is in Heaven with Jesus and I will see him again.”  As we went to buy our tickets to get into the palace, they graciously invited me to walk around with them. I said, "We should share our names…mine is Brenda." As they introduced themselves, guess what the Dad said his name was…… PETER!!! I couldn't believe it! I had not mentioned Pete's name in our previous conversation. I just laughed and said, "That is just like God to send me another Pete to take care of me today and make sure I don't get lost!" Isn't that incredible!! It was a "hug" straight from God and Pete…made me feel like God was telling me, "I know right where you are!" He sent two other “Petes” during my trip! Each time, I just had to smile and acknowledge that He is such a loving Father to give me such personal reminders of His presence!

Another special “hug” from God came during a worship service in Bangkok.  Guess what scripture the preacher preached from...Habakkuk 3:17 – 19!! My “nevertheless” verses!! I couldn’t believe it! Out of all the scripture in the whole Bible, for the verses I have clung to this year to be preached when I was half way around the world from home seeking to be obedient to His call on my life was just amazing to me! His Fatherly love for us is so tender! I wrote every day in a journal about “how I saw God today”. I am going to continue to do that…He does show us His love each and every day whether we are right here at home or halfway around the world! Look for His touches on your life every day!

In a Jesus Calling devotional earlier this year, I read, “Give yourself fully to the adventure of today….and remember I am holding you by your right hand…Hold My hand in childlike trust and the way before you will open up step by step.” I do think God has an adventure for us each day. I have shared before how much Pete and I loved to hold hands. I am missing Pete’s hand here on earth…and I am clinging to the One Who can still hold my hand and help me take the next step each day. He is so faithful and so “there” in our lives when we allow Him to be! Though I miss Pete more than I can ever explain to anyone each and every day, I know without a doubt that God is holding out His mighty right hand to me and all I have to do each day is reach out and “hang on to Him”…and He will help me step over those tough places and help me keep walking!

“For I am the LORD, your God, Who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,

                                             ‘Do not fear; I will help you’.” Isaiah 41:13

I am hanging on to you, Lord!

*Update on Andy and the marathon: He was not able to participate in the marthon last Saturday. A few days before the race, he fell and injured his back but hopes to try again sometime in the future. He is doing better and will just need to take it easy for a while. Thank you for your prayers for his recovery.