When I came in from walking this morning, I had this leaf stuck to my shoe. I leaned over and pulled it off and had to smile at how He was once again teaching me Truth through His creation. I thought, “Lord, that is a good representation of me right now! The yellow reminds me that I still have ‘color’ (strength in You, purpose), the splotches of red reminds me of those times when I really allow you to use me and bring your message of love and joy to others, then I see those ugly brown dead looking spots. I don’t like seeing those because they remind me that I am still wounded and sometimes I allow those wounds to be the focus of my life instead of You….and that is not a pretty thing!” As I sat and looked at the leaf, I felt like He told me to remember that He was getting ready to show the world His majesty and glory as He changes leaves into beautiful colors and that the same Creator God of nature also created each of us for His majesty and glory….and He wasn’t through changing me yet so I needed get my feet back underneath me and hold onto the Truth that only He can give.

Recently, I heard these words on a podcast by Nancy DeMoss – “When you experience intense grief, you must learn how to live between divine sovereignty that is beyond comprehension and pain that is beyond belief.” I remember thinking that is so true. I have been reminded over and over during the past 16 months that my joy comes when I concentrate on His Truths that I find in His Word and in my heart when I am yielded to Him. Sometimes I do that well...and sometimes I have to fight to remember that Truth...fight for that joy…fight for that peace that passes understanding…fight to remember to seek to glorify Him rather than wallow in my sadness in missing Pete. On the days I don’t do that well, I find that God is right there when I crawl back, confess that my emotions got the best of me and ask for His grace and help to do better ‘tomorrow’. I feel Him smile as if to say, “I understand, Dear One, I’ve got you…I am not going anywhere. Come on, get up, dust yourself off again, hold My hand and let’s concentrate on what I need you to do now for Me.”

I have been re-reading Kay Warren’s book, Choose Joy. I admire her strength and honesty as she shares how she has sought to choose joy in the midst of hard trials. Though this book was written several years ago, it is obvious that she is still clinging to the Truth of our Father as she walks through this new valley in her life. Today, I went back and read these words in her book...

“Colossians 4:2 says, ‘Stay alert, with your eyes wide open in gratitude.’ Joy is rooted in gratitude. You cannot have a joyful heart without having a grateful heart. You cannot be a grateful person and not experience joy. Those who can praise God will experience joy and those who are joyful will thank God. Joy and gratitude always go together.”

This time of the year, we are reminded to focus on what we have to be thankful for in America! I have so much to be thankful for….and even on those days when I allow myself to wallow in my sadness in missing Pete and his love and companionship, I can still usually muster up words of thankfulness to the Lord in the midst of tears. I do have so much to be thankful for in the past and in the future…we all do. Remember with me…

“The heavens are yours, the world, everything – for You created them all. Blessed are those who hear the joyful blast of the trumpet, for they shall walk in the light of Your Presence. They rejoice all day long in Your wonderful reputation and in Your perfect righteousness.

                                            You are their strength. What glory!
                       You are my Father, my God and the Rock of my salvation!”
                                                     Psalms 89:11, 15-17, 26

As I watch our Creator God paint the trees with their beautiful colors this fall, I am going to concentrate on His glory and majesty and love! Most of all, I am going to focus on the incredible gift He gave us in Jesus and ask how He can use me to share Him with others!

And I am going to be watching for a beautiful completely red leaf!! That’s what I want my life to look like….

“The heavens are Yours, the world, everything –

                                                     for You created them all!”
                                               Thank you, Lord, for Who You are!