Merry Christmas, Babe!

Dear Pete,

       Oh, how I miss you! It is Christmas Day…and you are not here with me! We had a good family time with the kids and grandkids all together as usual this week, but we all missed your laugh, your teasing, your reading of the Christmas story, your constant picture taking! We acted out the Christmas story like we always do…Peter stood in for you and read from the Bible. He did a good job…you would have been proud of him for stepping into your shoes. Luke, our little Jesus in the Singing Christmas Tree, wanted to be a shepherd in our play this year, then changed to a Wise Man at the last minute when Allison let him ring a bell! I actually think he came out with the shepherds and the wise men! Ha! Noah was the sheep like he always loves to be…he is getting to be a pretty big sheep now! The rest of us filled in the rest of the parts. I know how you always liked our tradition of acting out the story of Jesus’ birth. It has always been a sweet reminder to us of the real meaning of Christmas, hasn't it?

 I wanted to tell you about the memory gifts I gave the kids and grandkids from us this year. A dear friend helped me figure out how to make the Caring Bridge entries into a book and I added photos to it, too, and gave each one of the kids a copy. That will be something we will all cherish being able to go back and read and remember... Then two dear people inspired me to do something special for the kids and grandkids. One of my friends offered to make a special quilt throw out of your jeans and flannel shirts for me and then my dear Aunt Sara showed me how she made a quilt out of Uncle Joe’s t-shirts. They inspired me to dust off my old sewing machine! I used a lot of your shirts and made each one of the kids and grandkids their own quilt throw to snuggle under during the cool winter nights! Each of the quilts had special connections between you and that child/grandchild…like for Peter, I included your barefoot water skiing t-shirt since you did that together; for Allison, your Looney Tunes shirt since she loved watching cartoons with you; for Brantley, your “I yell because I care” shirt…(remember those driving lessons and how she gave you that shirt as a thank you for teaching her? Ha!) I put special shirts and t-shirts on each of their quilts - one of your SCT shirts, Edisto shirts, Hood shirts as well as one of your white t-shirts which you always wore! The 3 oldest grandkids had a t-shirt that reminded them of their 15 year old special grandchild/Papa & B trip with them and then Noah and Luke had one of your special Carolina shirts! The quilts brought a few tears but they seemed truly happy to get something that will always be a special reminder of you!

         I will be honest with you, Babe...I totally trust the Lord with Him calling you home when He did…but it just plain stinks not having you here with me anymore! Emotionally, it has been tough going through the motions of the holidays without you beside me…I just miss you! It is hard to believe it has been 6 months! But I want you to know that I am ok and I can tell I am better…my emotions are not as raw as they were for the first few months, but that doesn’t diminish my sadness that you are not with me anymore.  I have noticed that even when I am among family and friends who I know love me, I can still feel alone sometimes because you are not there with me. It is a strange feeling…

        I have been trying hard to keep my focus on Jesus and to count my blessings... which are many! Dick preached about how important it is to keep focusing on the glory and greatness of Jesus Christ this past Sunday. He said we need to remember when we allow the glory of Jesus to break into the reality of our lives, it is life changing! That is so true for me! The glory of Jesus...and you are seeing it in person! 

        Then at the Christmas Eve service last night, Dick talked about how Jesus was “the” gift…He was a gift from God to our world! He said four things were going on the night that Jesus was born. Wondering, treasuring, glorifying and worshipping! (Luke 2) The shepherds wondered what was going on and wondered with amazement at the angels and the message. Mary treasured all that happened in her heart…I am sure the shepherds did, too! The sky shone with the glory of the Lord and the angels were praising and glorifying God! The shepherds RAN (I love that…they didn’t walk…they RAN) to go find Jesus so they could worship Him! And when they left, they told everyone they met about Jesus! Oh, what a powerful reminder that was for me. Off and on today, I have thought about those four words (wondering, treasuring, glorifying and worshipping) and have asked the Lord to show me how to do all four of those things better during this next year.

    I keep thinking about you and wondering what you are experiencing right now! You are there...you are actually worshipping Jesus in person! I can only imagine how majestic it must be for you!  One of our dear friends said yesterday that you are at His “birthday party” this year! How incredible that must be! You are actually surrounded by that glory that we can only imagine!

     Babe, I hope you have had an incredible Christmas in Heaven today! I know God has got you…He’s got me, too! I just miss you… and I love you, Brenda

                           Pete’s First Christmas in Heaven
                                               (author unknown)

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below; with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars reflecting in the snow. The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tears, for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear, but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir here. I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing. I know how much you miss me; I see the pain inside your heart, but I am not so far away, we really aren't apart. So be happy for me dear ones, you know I hold you dear, and I'll be spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above. I sent you each a memory of my undying love. After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold. It was always most important in the stories Jesus told. Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do, for I can't count the blessing or love He has for each of you. So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear. Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

                                    Merry Christmas, Babe!

"Just because we love you!"

When Brantley was a little girl, Pete and I wanted to deliberately help her develop a giving heart so we were always trying to brainstorm ways to teach her to serve and give to others. We often spent time and did things with and for our family members but we wanted her to learn to reach outside of our family and think of others.

I believe God gave us the idea of our “just because we love you” people! We had her write down names of special people in our lives in a notebook. Some of them were church friends, some were neighborhood friends, some were teachers, some were our work friends that she knew, too…friends from all walks of our lives. Every month, we let her choose one name from that list and, as a family, we would decide what we could do for that person.  Sometimes we baked cookies for them, sometimes we bought a beautiful plant, sometimes we did something special to help them. She would create a card for them to go along with our gift. It was always a lot of fun for Pete, Brantley and me to decide who was our “just because we love you” person each month!

When I started working with young moms, I shared that idea  with them and some of them took the idea and came up with their own list of people to bless as a family. Through the years, I have shared this idea with many others especially with some of my peers who are mentoring young women, too. One of these special friends and her group of young women came over last night and surprised me as their “just because we love you” person! They brought supper so we could enjoy the fellowship time and then surprised me with many gifts “based” on the 12 days of Christmas! It was such a sweet “hug” from God! They brought their love and shared it with me last night. They truly blessed me. I will cherish those hugs and that love as I go on through this Christmas season and into next year. It was so precious to be the recipient of a “just because we love you” surprise!

 

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

Continuing the Singing Christmas Tree Legacy!

 

What a powerful weekend! Our church, Shandon Baptist in Columbia, South Carolina, gave the gift of the Singing Christmas Tree to our community for the 22^nd year! Our tree held 130 singers and as our pastor said the songs mixed with the drama "shared the "magic" of Christmas as well as the "message" of Christmas of Jesus' birth"! I mentioned in an earlier post that Pete was the “chief architect” for the Tree each year and sang on every performance of each Tree for all 21 years! I will be honest with you…my heart was heavy as the Tree got closer and I thought about Pete not being there! I knew without a doubt I was supposed to be a part of the Tree and help in every way I could like I always did with Pete…but I also knew I could not do it without the strength of the Lord holding me up! I sent out an “emergency prayer request” to my “arm proper uppers” on Wednesday of this past week. I knew I needed the strength that comes from praying friends! It was so powerful to feel that strength as I went through this weekend. Without a doubt, I know that God gave me His grace and strength to make it through the Tree.

A dear friend who lost her husband 10 years ago told me to look for how God would show me that Pete was “there”! I thought about what she said…and wait til you hear how God gave me the gift of “having Pete” with us!

 

First of all, Allison decided she would sing in the Tree with me! She has not been able to participate in the Tree for years so it was such a blessing to have her beside me as we practiced over these past few months and then this whole weekend as we performed the Tree! We were four rows from the top - right in the middle! We had fun doing it together and she stayed with me all the way through take down last night…until the last piece of the Tree was put in the trailer and we shut the door at 12:30 AM! We had a great crowd of people come and help us with take down…which was such a huge blessing! So Pete was with me on the Tree through the gift of the presence of “our” daughter standing beside me as we sang songs to glorify the Lord!!

 
Then a couple of weeks ago, the door opened for Brantley, Josh and Luke to be in the drama as Mary, Joseph and the 2 year old Jesus when the Wise Men came to see him! Since they live in Raleigh, it took a lot of effort on their part to make this work but they felt honored to be able to participate…for the glory of the Lord and to honor Pete. They did great…and Luke was a fun 2 year old Jesus! He loved it and made lots of new friends! As they left today to go home, I told him, “Thank you for coming to B’s church and being in the Christmas play.” Luke said, “Good time! Do it again sometime!” Josh stayed with me at the church last night until 12:30 AM, too, and helped put the Tree away for the year. So Pete was with me through the gift of 3 generations being represented through the presence of Brantley , Josh and Luke participating in the Tree with me!

 Then 3 more of our grandchildren, our other son-in-law and Pete’s brothers and their wives helped with the  logistics of the Tree presentations! Jackson came on Wed night to fill in for Josh and help Brantley with Luke and the drama. Katherine and Noah came and ushered every single performance! They enjoyed mingling with the crowds and helping people find a seat! Rob was helping with crowd control at each performance! So Pete was with me on the Tree through the gift of more grandchildren , a son-in-law and  extended family helping to make the Tree go smoothly and create an atmosphere of  welcome and safety and once again having 3 generations represented through their gift of time.

 

Then we were able to have the pleasure of "AudreyAnnaPete” play the part of Baby Jesus! She is the baby of one of our young married Sunday School couples. I wrote about her on the October 22^nd blogpost because she helped bring me happy feelings by her birth on the 4 month anniversary of Pete’s death. She did great and Brantley loved being able to hold her and love on her! So Pete was with me through the gift of AudreyAnna as she represented to me Pete’s joy in working with young couples!

 

I did good all week and weekend until I climbed down from the Tree after the final performance! The tears flowed…but I had lots of shoulders and hugs to get me through that emotional time! I am sure it was all the pent up emotion of going through all the performances of the Tree without the presence of the man I love who loved this production. I needed to cry it out because soon after, I had to get busy and help organize the take down of the Tree like I always did for Pete.

 Our Minister of Music graciously put a picture of Pete in the program along with these words: This year’s presentation of the Singing Christmas Tree marks the first year that we’ve done it without our ”chief architect” Pete Richards. This past summer, Pete went to be with the Lord after a brief illness. He left a space that will never be filled in our hearts as well as in the construction and presentation of the Singing Christmas Tree. Though Pete is not here with us this year, his fingerprints are all over tonight’s presentation both physically and figuratively. It is with gratitude for a life well lived that we remember Pete Richards this Christmas season.

I wrote this to some folks today...” Pete will always be so alive in our lives as we continue to do whatever God wants us to do here on earth. God is teaching me that life will never be the same as it was with Pete and I will always miss him, but it will still be good. I am trusting Him for that...”

I am so thankful for our church and the vision we have worked on together for so many years to share the gospel through the Singing Christmas Tree. I am so thankful for Pete’s vision and love for the Tree. I think I can speak for the whole Richards family to assure Shandon Baptist Church that we will continue to be there to help with the Singing Christmas Tree every year….after all, we have a legacy to uphold and pass down!

 

         Thank you, Pete, for giving so much through the years

        to make the Singing Christmas Tree such a powerful gift

       to our community! We will fill your shoes as best as we can!

    We love you and miss you more than anyone could possibly know!

Lessons from Mary

“And Mary said, ‘Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.’” Luke 1:38  

I have been talking to the Lord a lot about Christmas… I know it is going to be so hard emotionally this year for our whole family to celebrate without Pete. It will be a happy/sad time. We will be truly be happy knowing that Pete will actually be celebrating the birth of Christ with the Lord this year...how incredible that will be for him! But here on earth, it will be sad in many ways as we adjust to celebrating Christmas without Pete’s happy presence with us!

With all of this running through my mind this week, I have specifically asked the Lord to teach me what He wanted me to learn through this hard journey this Christmas. He keeps bringing Mary, the mother of Jesus, to my mind so I have been reading scripture and reflecting on her life. She obviously must have had incredible trust and faith in God for Him to have chosen her out of all the women on earth to bear His only Son. In Luke 1:38, I find it amazing that she yields herself so completely to the Lord as soon as she hears the angel say that she would bear the Son of God! Did she really realize how much her life was getting ready to change? Was she scared? Was she worried? Oh, to be so trusting and submissive to the Lord like Mary when He brings life changes into life like He did for me this year!

In my readings this week, I found a devotional about Mary written by Melanie Chitwood from Proverbs 31 Ministries and I have been mulling over some of her reflections…

“God wants us to remember that before she was Mary, the mother of Jesus, she was just Mary, an ordinary girl like you and me. I can just imagine her loving Joseph and being excited about her future marriage to him. I can see her discussing with her parents the many plans for her new life.

Each ordinary day brought to Mary many small opportunities to turn toward God in faith or away from God in doubt or selfishness. And each day Mary chose to say yes to the small things God placed before her. Yes, God I’ll serve my family as I clean and cook. Yes, God, I’ll be your hands and heart right here in my family and community.

And then – an angel appears. Suddenly this ordinary girl on this ordinary day comes face to face with her extraordinary God. Gabriel reminds her, “For nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37). Despite being afraid and puzzled, this proclamation seems to be all the assurance Mary needs.

I believe one of the reasons God chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus is that He had seen each time Mary had said yes in the small moments of her life. These everyday steps of faith had been her training ground, and He knew that she was ready to say yes to the extraordinary plan he set before her. God knew that throughout her life, Mary would say, Nothing will be impossible with God.

As we say yes to the daily, ordinary moments of our lives, let us be reminded that we are saying yes to our extraordinary God. May He find us faithful, just as Mary was faithful.”

What a good reminder to me! Because Mary yielded to God, her life was changed forever…yet she was still Mary. Think of all the roles she had to fulfill – a child, a wife, a mother, and later, a grandmother. In all these roles, and especially as the mother of Jesus, she would have loved, laughed, cared, cried, and suffered as she saw her Son being killed on the cross…and then rejoiced when He rose from the dead three days later! I am sure that her life was a roller coast of emotions! Yet she set the example of a life yielded to be used by God no matter what was going on!

Yielding…such an easy word to say, but such a hard word to do! This week, I have been thinking about how through her example, she showed me that her willingness to yield to the Sovereignty of God is what brought glory to Him.  I was convicted to remember that I need to daily seek to yield to His will for my life in order to bring Him glory. I can so easily allow myself to be consumed by my loneliness and sadness in missing Pete but I am trying to deliberately choose to yield every day to this new path God has sent me on. It is a daily battle…but I have learned that there is joy and peace in this yielding. He is teaching me…and for that I am grateful. It doesn’t make me miss Pete less but it makes the walk easier when I yield to Him than when I try to walk my “own” path filled with thorny tears and potholes of sadness!

I have always believed that when He finds us faithful in the small things, He will challenge us to do the next step in serving Him. I am not sure yet of all He has in mind for me to do. I do believe He is slowly pulling back the curtain and letting me see bits and pieces of the next steps. I sometimes still find myself crying over the thought of “doing” these things without Pete…but, at the same time, I know with all of my heart that I must keep moving forward toward seeking how He wants me to serve Him.  He is reminding me to remember that “nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).

Oh, Father, help me learn to yield to You every single day!