Choose Joy!

January 18^th was my birthday! After going through the holidays without Pete and experiencing such a rough New Year’s Eve, I was determined that I was not going to wallow in self-pity for my birthday! I knew the first birthday without Pete being here to make a big deal out of it was going to be hard! Soooo, I asked Brantley if she would go with me to one of Pete and my favorite places! New York City! We flew up there on my birthday and enjoyed a special mother/daughter weekend! To make it even better, Jackie (Peter’s wife), Jackson (our 2^nd grandson) and Jackie’s sister were all there for the weekend, too!! Totally planned without each other knowing it…but once I found out, I just smiled because I knew it was another sweet gift God was giving me to have them there to celebrate my birthday with me, too!

Every single night Pete and I spent in NYC, we went to Carnegie Deli and ate cheesecake! I am not about to change that tradition!! They make the absolute best cheesecake in the country! So Jackie and Jackson joined us for cheesecake on my birthday! What a treat!

 

 I remember the first time Pete took me to NYC. He loved to tell the story about how when he said we were going to ride on the subway, I started protesting…”I am NOT going to ride on the NYC subway…I have heard about what happens down there! It is too dangerous!” He convinced me that I was being silly and down we went! I loved it! I started trying to learn the routes and to learn when we needed to look for the “downtown” train or the “uptown” train. Two days later, he turned around and found me “helping” some tourists figure out what train they needed to take! He just laughed and laughed! We loved visiting New York City and went many times! Brantley was a good sport to listen to me reminisce about all the places we visited and the fun times…but you know what, not a tear fell! It was just fun remembering the good times we had together there!

 

      We even took our kids and their spouses up there about 9 years ago right after Christmas! Yes, they even put up with wearing these silly shirts long enough for us to get a picture! We had a lot of fun! So glad we have these special memories!

 

When I got home, I had several sweet cards from family and friends to read. One was from a dear younger friend who lost her husband to a brain tumor years ago. She has been a sweet, strong source of support since Pete died. She wrote this on my card, “Brenda, you do have a lot to celebrate! You’re slowly putting the pieces of your heart back together and the sun is going to shine again; I promise! Many times when I went through a special birthday or holiday, sure, it was a little sad and I reflected on how my life was different but you can always decide to choose joy! Make a list of all the things you are grateful for and a smile will come gently across your face through your tears. We never forget or replace; we reflect and add to. Pray big prayers and then do your part!”

I just smiled as I read her note! Wise words from someone who has “been there”! She is so right! I can choose joy! And I think that was what I was trying to do by choosing to do something special on my birthday weekend so that the focus would be on joy instead of sorrow!  I read these words in In Touch magazine "Some people use happiness and joy interchangeably. There is a vast difference in their meanings. Both cause a pleasant emotional response, but the former relies entirely upon circumstance. As soon as difficulty arises and pain intrudes, a person ceases to be happy. On the other hand, joy is a gift from God that enables believers to find hope and peace - even when life seemingly falls apart." Good words for all of us to reflect on no matter our circumstances.

There are so many wonderful verses about joy in the Bible. I started thinking about some of them...

 “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22 (One of my goal verses!)

“…the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

“I will praise You with songs of joy…I sing for joy in the shadow of Your wings.” Psalms 63: 5b, 7b

Then I started reflecting on when I have felt joy this month…

I have felt joy…

…ever since that New Year’s morning when I woke up and saw God’s glory in His sky and sunrise!
…in seeing and being with different family members.
…in sharing meals with special friends.
…in reading His Word and having time to focus on prayer!
…in an answer to a prayer Pete and I have prayed for years as God has led our pastor to feel the need for us as a church to be more involved in missions.
…every day in appreciating all the work Pete did to make our house a special home!
…in the willingness of friends to go above and beyond to help me with projects!
…in the body of Christ who are helping to care for my aging parents since I am not in the same town with them.
…in the hugs and love of others.
...in seeing Him open doors for ways I can serve Him.
…in the surprise of a daffodil blooming in our yard this week during this cold weather!

Lord, keep teaching me to choose joy! Thank You for being the Source of my joy!

                                                     Choose Joy!

What is my 'nard'?

"Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair" (John 12:3).

When I read this verse the other day in my quiet time, I thought to myself, “Lord, what is my ‘nard’? What does this have to do with my walk through this valley?” I began a quest to learn about nard…and to think more about this story! I wanted to see what He was trying to teach me.  

Nard. What does that mean? The definition is very expensive perfume imported from India. Scripture tells us it would have cost a year’s wages! But I wanted to think about what nard represented to Mary…and to me! I read this same story from other Biblical perspectives in Matthew 26, Mark 14 and Luke 14. It made me pause to think about the fact that this story was in all 4 gospels…In Matthew 26:13, Jesus even said, “The story of what she has done will be told throughout the whole world, wherever the Good News is preached.” There are so many different powerful aspects of this story…and much to be learned. But on this day, I just wanted to learn about ‘my nard’!

Pete and I have been blessed to go to the Holy Land three times. We absolutely loved it…our favorite place on earth! I could just see the scene in my mind. I could picture it against the backdrop of that special land and culture. I admire Mary’s spunk and determination!! Here she was, before mostly men in a men dominated culture, yet Mary knew in her heart this was something she wanted to do for Jesus and nothing, nothing was going to stop her. Obviously, it was a token of her love, a sign of intense devotion, a way of worshipping Him. It was extravagant…a huge sacrifice in a lot of different ways. She was not afraid to do something out of the ordinary. She was not afraid of the questions that I am sure she knew would come.

“Lord, what is my nard? What is it I can do for You that takes sacrifice, love, intense devotion, worship, extravagance…What can I give You?”

I put down my Bible and study books and went on about my day….but the question was never far from my heart, “Lord, what is my nard?” I kept thinking of all kinds of “things”…but I realized by the end of the day that the overwhelming thought that kept coming in my heart and mind all day was obedience. No matter what, obedience. No matter the request He makes, obedience. No matter how hard, obedience. No matter the cost, obedience. No matter the emotions, obedience.

That is my ‘nard’.

Oh, Father, sometimes I ask and when You tell me the answer, it is not always what I want to hear. Obedience is hard…but I know it is important and must be done! Lord, help me be obedient, help me give You my “nard” in the big things as well as in the small things. Help me not to be afraid to do something out of the ordinary for You! May You feel my love, my extravagance, my devotion, my faith in You through my obedience while walking through this valley and when I come out the other side!

What is your ‘nard’?

 

 

New Year's Goal...

Do you set goals each year? Yes, I am a goal setter! Don’t always do a great job at following through with them but I do try! This year, I have decided to only set one…that is all I thought I could handle right now! So I started praying about it a few weeks ago. I asked God to show me a goal I could try and accomplish based on the valley I am walking through right now. As is often the case when He is trying to get me to consider something from Him, He brings the same thing to mind over and over again. I think it is because I am so hard headed, it takes a lot of times to get things to sink in! This often happens with Bible verses. When He brings a verse to mind a lot, I mull over it, think it through and try to figure out how applies to my life.

I have been thinking about this verse lately…

“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.”  Romans 8:37

When I was reminded of this verse a few weeks ago during my quiet time, I remembered a devotional based on this verse from Millie Stamm’s book, Meditation Moments, that has ministered to me through the years.

A conqueror is one who has overcome, one who has triumphed and become a victor.  In our Christian lives, we can be conquerors, overcomers, victors – nay, we can be more than conquerors.

          To conquer is to gain the victory over our foes.  To be more than a conqueror is to learn from our foes lessons that could not be learned in any other way, lessons so valuable that we are glad the battle came.  We become more than conquerors by making the battle serve a good purpose in our lives.  Our adversity will then be turned to our advantage. 

          Day-by-day life brings tribulation, trials, and troubles.  The sphere of our conquest is stated in the phrase “all these things”.  We get our eyes on “all these things” and begin to go down in defeat.  But God has promised a “more than conquering” victory in “all these things” – not in spite of them but in the midst of them. We can rise up victorious and triumphant time after time.

          You may conquer as you patiently endure a storm in your life.  But you are more than a conqueror as you rise above the storm in radiant victory and triumph.  A great sorrow may come into your life.  You may accept it as God’s will and become a conqueror.  Or you may seek to draw closer to God through it and learn to know Him better that your heartache may enable you to be a blessing to someone else.  Thus, your tears turn to triumph and you are more than a conqueror.  The secret of being more than a conqueror is through Him – the One who loved us.

          “But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory” (I Corinthians 15:57)

Many of the early Christians experienced great suffering.  Peter reminded them that suffering had a purpose and would eventually end in glory.  Therefore, they could rejoice in it.

          Down through the years, Christians have been beset with trials.  We may wonder why; we do not understand the reason.  But Peter wrote that trials are not unusual.  We are not to think it strange that they come. He said, “Don’t be bewildered or surprised when you go through the fiery trials ahead, for this is no strange unusual thing that is going to happen to you.”  (I Peter 4:12)

          Trials are a proving ground for testing us.  Therefore it is extremely important how we react to them.  It has been said, “The man of God is not perfected except by trial.”  We may murmur and complain.  We may indulge in self-pity.  Bitterness may creep in.  However, if we let God have His way in the trial, He will use it for His purpose and His glory.

While I was still in the "processing mode" about this verse and devotional, a dear friend (who had no clue I was studying this verse) wrote me an email about this very verse from Streams in the Desert! Here is what she shared from the devotional,

“This is also what God desires for His children. He wants us to be ‘more than conquerors’, turning storm clouds into chariots of victory. It is obvious when an army becomes ‘more than conquerors’ for it drives its enemies from the battle field and confiscates their food and supplies. This is exactly what this Scripture means. There are spoils to be taken! Dear believer, after experiencing the terrible valley of suffering, did you depart with the spoils?”

My sweet friend wrote, “I love that image…of boldly taking satan’s very sustenance from him on the battlefield he thought he would defeat us on. Praying for beauty to rise from ashes!”

Isn't that special that she wrote me about the very verse God had been drumming into my head and heart!! I love how He does things like that! I am not glad this battle came as the first devotional mentions...but I am determined to fight my way through it and get to the other side of the battlefield! And I am also determined that satan is not going to win this battle! So I think I know what God wants my goal to be this year! It is going to be a hard one…but I am going to try my best to be “more than a conqueror” as I walk through this valley. Lord, may it be so!

 

Praying this verse: "Now glory be to God who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes." Ephesians 3:20

Fighting to be more than a conqueror

and collect those spoils from the battlefield!

Weeping in the night...Joy in the morning!

“Weeping may last through the night but joy comes with the morning!” Psalm 30:5b

This has been a hard season…being “hit” with many “firsts” without Pete over and over again so close together has made me feel like a boxer who gets hit, then gets back up and gets hit again! Thankfully, I trust a big God…Who has my heart… and my back! I have fallen to the mat several times during these past two months, but He has always been right there to pick me back up again! I feel like He would wrap His big arms around me, give me a hug...and send me right back out there on the mat again! Often, I felt like turning around and running “out of the ring”! But He was always there, cheering me on. I couldn’t help but believe Pete was right there beside Him, cheering as loud as God was for me to get back out there and keep “fighting” through it all!

 The latest hurtles have been Christmas and now New Year's Eve! It helped a lot to have family and friends around so much during Christmas. We all enjoyed sharing our memories of Pete over past Christmases! Here is my favorite picture from last year with all of our grandchildren! This is a picture we will all cherish now for sure!

 I deliberately chose to go down to the beach for New Year’s Eve …I figured the Lord and I needed to handle ending this hard year and beginning the new one together. Pete and I have always loved New Year’s Eve! We always stayed up til “the ball dropped”, gave each other a kiss and prayed together as the new year began. Through the years, we have spent some New Year’s Eves with family and friends, but often it would just be us…which suited us just fine….it was always special to share it together. When 2000 began, we were in the city of Jerusalem with some friends! That was a special New Year’s Eve! Last year, we were at Disney World on New Year's Eve! We would laughingly say, “We were with thousands of our ‘best friends’!!!” We had gone down for the Carolina Bowl game and spent several days with Mickey and Minnie! Even though it was crowded, we had so much fun sharing those days together and seeing the fireworks over the castle!

I went to the beach confident that I was supposed to spend this New Year’s Eve just with Jesus! But as darkness fell last night, I began to wonder if my “thought process” was a good one. I was swamped with memories and it brought a lot of tears…more than I have cried in quite a while! Caught me by surprise…I was not expecting the flood of emotions for some reason!! I thought about what our good friend, who is the pastor at Edisto Baptist Church, had just preached about on Sunday. His sermon was based on John 10 where Jesus teaches about how He is the Gate for the sheep. In verse 10, Jesus says, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” Last night, I felt like Satan was working hard to steal, kill and destroy my heart and I literally had a time of just saying, “Help me, Lord!” He calmed my heart but it was a hard, hard time. Thankfully, I had prayer warriors praying for me because they knew it was going to be a tough time. I made it til the new year began, prayed and went to bed believing that the “sun will come up” and trusting that “His mercies will be new” in the morning.

I set the alarm early to see that sun come up. As I was walking down to the beach, I looked up and saw pockets of clouds spread around the sky above me and the clouds were a beautiful rose color! The sun, which was not visible yet, was sending its rays to the clouds and showing His glory and majesty in an incredible way! I was so awed, I stopped still in the middle of the street and looked in every direction around me…those beautiful rose colored clouds were everywhere!

 I felt the warmest feeling come over me…as if God was saying, “My Dear One, feel My glory. I am right here…all around you. Do not worry, do not fret. I am here and I will never leave you.”  I walked on to the beach and worshipped Him as I watched Him continue to show His majesty while the sun rose in a glorious way!

“The Heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows and proclaims His handiwork.” Psalm 19:1

When I came inside, I turned on my Pandora music mix and the song that started playing was “Blessings” by Laura Story. She wrote this after she had been praying several years for healing for her husband’s brain tumor. Here are some of the words that spoke to me:

“We pray for blessings, we pray for peace, comfort for family, protection while we sleep. We pray for healing, for prosperity, We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering…

What if Your blessings come through raindrops, what if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy. And what if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights are all Your mercies in disguise…”

As I mulled over those words about blessings in hard things, an instrumental song began to play…I smiled as I thought about the words to this old hymn…

“When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way. While we do His good will, He abides with us still, and with all who will trust and obey. Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies, but His smile quickly drives it away. Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear can abide while we trust and obey. Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share but our toil He doth richly repay, not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross but is blessed if we trust and obey. But we never can prove the delight of His love until all on the alter we lay. For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows are for them who will trust and obey. Then in fellowship sweet, we will sit at His feet or we’ll walk by His side in the way. What He says we will do, where He sends we will go, never fear only trust and obey.

Trust and obey for there’s no other way…to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

As I was telling the Lord, “I got it…I understand you are telling me to trust you and obey You”, another instrumental song began to play…

“I must tell Jesus all of my trials, I cannot bear these burdens alone. In my distress He kindly will help me, He ever loves and cares for His own. I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus, I cannot bear these burdens alone. I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus, Jesus can help me, Jesus alone!”

Jesus alone...He meets us where we are…and speaks to each of us in the “language” that we can understand best. For me, that has always been in nature and through music. God spoke to me this morning through the glory and majesty of His sunrise and through music. I got His message! I am going to keep working hard to focus on His glory, keep seeking to trust and obey and continue to realize that my strength comes from my relationship with Jesus alone! Sometimes we need to fight through the “hard times” like I had last night and lean just on Jesus…He often teaches best in the midst of the battle when we are willing to listen…and during those times, we often need to just be alone with Him.

Thank you, Lord, for beginning this year with me in such a special way. 2012 was a hard, hard year. Part of me is so sad to know I am beginning a new year that Pete will not share with me here on this earth.  I don’t know what is ahead in 2013 but I know Who knows…and my hand is going to be holding on tight to You!

Joy comes in the morning…