I keep having the words to Babbie Mason's song that was sung at Pete's Celebration Service run through my head and heart...

"All things work for our good, though sometimes we can't see how they could.
Troubles that break our hearts in two, sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what is best for us, His ways are not our own,
So when your pathway grows dim and you just can't see Him,
 Remember you're never alone.

God is too good to be mistaken, God is too wise to be unkind,
So when you don't understand, when you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart.

He sees the master plan, He holds the future in His hand,
So don't live as those who have no hope, all our hope is found in Him.
We see the present clearly, but He sees the first and the last,
And like a tapestry, He's weaving you and me
To someday, be just like Him.

He alone is faithful and true, He alone knows what is best for you.

God is too good to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind,
So when you don't understand, when you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart."

I am struggling with the "why" and "what now"... not in anger with God at all but in just wondering why Pete had to go home now... wondering what was God thinking to bring him home when we had so many plans for the future! But through my tears and intense sadness in missing Pete, I KNOW God is sovereign...and I do trust Him. I don't understand but I do trust Him and love Him with all of my heart....so I will wait on His direction.

Thursday's devotional in Jesus Calling spoke loudly to me. The writer reminded me that God's ways are mysterious even to those who know Him intimately. "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, ' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9  In times of questioning in my life, I am always reminded of when God spoke to Job beginning in Job 38. "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding, Who set its meansurements?...Who laid its cornerstone?...Who enclosed the sea...Who said (to the sea), 'Thus far you shall come, but no farther; and here shall your proud waves stop.'" He is sovereign...I must yield my life to my Lord even when I don't understand.

I know Pete is so happy because He is in our ultimate Home in Heaven with Jesus! Now he is free of tiredness and pain and for that I can be so thankful. I will see Pete again one day when God calls me home! Heaven is even sweeter to me now that I know Pete will be waiting to welcome me there! I know the journey ahead of me will be hard...and I am sure I have many, many tears yet to shed, but I will keep taking one small step at a time. "When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart!"