Joy in the Journey?

In March of this year, I was one of the speakers at our Ladies’ Retreat. Our topic was Lifedance; Dancing through life with freedom and joy.   I referenced a great book by Ann Voskamp titled One Thousand Gifts. She focuses on the word Eucharisteo which means ‘to be thankful’.

I spoke on having "Joy in the Journey" in our life with Christ. One of the things I shared with the ladies at the retreat is that we all have “hard eucharisteo” times in life….and if they had not experienced them yet, they would! I asked, “How do we still give thanks when life is hard?” I shared this verse in Habakkuk 3:17 – 19 and told the ladies that sometimes you have to say this verse through tears and clinched teeth…with a determination that can only come from the Lord’s strength.

“Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, nevertheless I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains.”

I have been talking to the Lord about this a lot this week. I am not dancing right now…but I am still walking! I am getting one foot in front of the other. My joy in the Lord is still as strong as ever…but my daily joy has been rocked! I believe it will come back, but I am missing Pete too much to tell you I am joyful right now. Ann says in her book that “Jesus’ nail-scarred hands cups our face close, wipes away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, ‘I know, I know’…Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us how to transfigure all things – take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness.” I feel His sweet hands cupping my face often. This is the hard eucharisteo...harder than I have ever experienced in life!  I have told the Lord that selfishly, I cannot say “thank you” for calling Pete home at this time. Maybe I will get there…I don’t know. But my human heart is missing him too much to say that now. Yet, I knew that I had many “thank yous” that I could say to Him during this hard eucharisteo time, and I do believe He will transform all this into “a joy that fulfills all emptiness”.

*Thank you, Lord, that I know, without a doubt, that Pete knew Your son,Jesus, as his Lord and Savior and is in heaven with Him!

*Thank you, Lord, for Pete’s love for our family and so many others!

*Thank you, Lord, for Pete’s life and the many, many people he touched and how he made a difference in people!

*Thank you, Lord, for his servant heart and his patience with all of us!

*Thank you, Lord, for his sense of humor and that big smile that brightened all of our lives!

*Thank you, Lord, that he didn’t have to suffer long with this awful disease of cancer!

*Thank you, Lord, that we were able to have him home with us that last week.

*Thank you, Lord, for the body of Christ and the many, many expressions of love for our family during this time.

Here is my current “personal” version of Habakkak 3:17 – 19.          

“Even though this house is so empty without Pete’s presence , and I am missing his hugs and smile; even though I am so sad that he will not be here to share the future on this earth with me, and our children and grandchildren will miss him so; even though he is so missed in his church and work world, and I feel so lonely without him, nevertheless I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He will help me walk and not faint and bring me safely through this hard journey.”

 Amen.